First Year Teacher Guide, by Jeanne Anderson,  2003

Dear First Year Teacher,

Welcome to the wonderful world of education! You have spent four or more years preparing yourself to eagerly enlighten young minds. In order to facilitate this process, read the following Guide for Novice Teachers carefully. Take notes in the margin or highlight in order to prepare yourself for the grueling test to follow.

Rule #1: Never let them see you sweat! Students can smell fear and will instantly gather for the kill. Fear is NOT your friend! If you don't know the answer, make finding out an internet search class project. Not only will you stem the tide of rebellion, administrators like tech projects.

Rule #2: You are NOT amused! Cultivate that Queen Victoria look (even when you are dying trying to withhold the laughter). While a healthy interest by students in your curriculum is encouraged, chaos is

not. Watch out for the temperature changes in the mood of your class. Storms are rapid, sometimes uncontrolled, and frowned upon by administration and peers.

Rule #3: Throw out your college education texts! These are REAL students with REAL problems and there are 25-35 of them. Educational psychology rarely works on herds. The most carefully crafted lessons can be thrown off course by a myriad of outside influences, including, but not limited to: the weather, social relationships, snow, family problems, rain, family pet problems, wind, the color of the walls, the sun, last night's movie or television show, the phases of the moon, and did I mention the weather?

Rule #4: Be sure to suck up to the people who run the school! Find out the secretary's birthday, her favorite flowers and perfume. Keep the janitor supplied with candy, food and gum to guarantee you'll be supplied with erasers, floor polish and room deodorant spray. Remember the nurse can either keep those sick kids or send them back to you. Candy now and then can't hurt. The Lunch Ladies can find you those delectable hidden foods or those delectable? leftovers. Keep them all on your side and your life will be immensely easier.

Rule #5: The Apple Don’t fall far from the tree! If you wonder why a child has problems, meet the parent, step-parent, guardian, grandparent, whatever. You'll probably comprehend the problem immediately.

Rule #6: Give yourself a break! Educating young minds can be fun and rewarding (though not monetarily), but you must continue to educate your own mind! The more experienced you get, the more you realize some things work with some students, but not everything works with every student. Every time you think you can't be surprised, you will be, sometimes even in a good way! We've all made mistakes. We've all been there. Cultivate those teachers in the trenches who still have a sense of humor because you will need them. You will also need your family, friends and loved ones. If you continue to teach, you will read students' papers so profound you will find it hard to get a breath over your tears. Students you have taught will die, and there will be nothing you can do about it. Administrators and parents and students will make poor decisions, but some will make great ones. You will be influencing someone's life. That's the terror and the blessing. Be a safe haven for the students, not part of the war zone.

Final test:

The test is simple, but not easy. Will you be here next August? Ten years from now will you still be here? Knock on our doors and ask us why we are here. We'd love to meet you since you are our hope for the future-teaching our hope for the future. Welcome to the line!

Back