Hippies Do Grow Old, by Jane Schmidt, July 2002

'He's an old hippie

And he don't know what to do.

Should he hang on to the old?

Should he grab on to the new?'

(sung by Belarmy Brothers)

There are people who enter your world and seem like they have always been a part of the landscape of your life. Larry is one of those people.

The first time I met Larry I was out working in our garden with three little toddlers at my feet. I heard a noise on our driveway, and I looked up to see a long white limousine pull up to our house. Out came a long-haired chauffeur wearing a cap, a leather jacket and a big grin. He introduced himself and said he was looking for Brian--they had played football together in high school. I gave his white limo a puzzled look and he explained that he rented himself and his car out for special events. He quite proudly said he had gotten a good deal on the wheels and was interested in selling it since he got in a little misdemeanor trouble in Wisconsin. Seemed like it might be a good idea to put his energies into his Car Body Shop and skip any further trouble with the law. That's Larry-- honest and straightforward, hides nothing.

I'm never surprised about what he might say. He might go into detail about why the 1969 Walk on the Moon was a fake or that LBJ was responsible for the assassination of Kennedy. He might ramble on about why drugs should be legalized or how the government is watching our every move. He might sit at our kitchen table with torn blue jeans and a Marlboro t-shirt two sizes too small and give me fashion advice about what shoes I should wear with my outfit. As he rummages through our refrigerator he might give advice on how to better prepare a casserole, as he finishes off whatever might be left over from a previous meal. (He quite proudly boasts that his only requirement for eating is that it doesn't smell bad.) He might give us advice on how to discipline our kids--usually after he's driven one of his sons to community service for a violation of the law. Larry is our walking talking sit at our kitchen table Ann Landers.

One thing Larry loves to do is complain about his wife--how she kicked one of their boys out and he was hoping she'd do the same to him but so far he hadn't had any luck in that department. Any trouble their boys get into is always a result that they carry her blood. We even know more about the tattoos on that woman's body than we care to think about. He says he'd like to find a present to give her that would keep her from complaining for at least a year--the diamond ring didn't do it nor did the diamond earrings. He's still searching. I've requested that he take my husband Brian with him on his next search.

When you hang around with Larry people are bound to talk. I warned Brian that people would start thinking he was using drugs if he showed up in too many public places with Larry, and sure enough that's exactly what happened.

I was chaperoning a middle school dance when a lady came up to me and asked in a very unusual voice, "How's Brian doing?" Seeing as how he seemed perfectly fine when I left home I said he was fine. She nodded her head and walked away. It had me puzzled that she would ask about him in that funny tone. When I got home, I mentioned it to Brian, and he said he and Larry had run into her husband at lunch. Then the picture came clear--Larry and Brian, hanging out together, time for outsiders to assume the worst.

A short time later we were at the county fair and Brian had been up almost all night working with cattle. He decided to lay under our cattle trailer for a short snooze. Who should come by but the lady from the dance. She had an "aha" look on her face as she noticed Brian stretched out and snoring. I walked up to her and she asked again, "How’s Brian?" I explained about his late schedule and reason for sleeping. You know how you can just sense that someone does not believe you? Well, that was my sense so I decided to hit the subject straight on.

"You want to know something funny," I said. "Brian hangs around with Larry, and because of that people actually believe Brian might be into drugs with Larry. Isn't that funny how people assume the worst?"

She nodded with no look of disbelief on her face so I went further.

"I told Brian people would start thinking he was involved in things he shouldn't be if he kept on hanging around with Larry, and his response to me was that Jesus spent most of his time with sinners because they were the ones that needed to hear what he had to say. He explained to me that Larry needed good examples in his life. Isn't it funny how people can misconstrue the good things others try to do?"

She only nodded her head and walked away. She hasn't asked me since how Brian is.

I don't mind Larry's 10:00 p.m. visits to use our phone since he doesn't carry long distance coverage. I've gotten used to his collect phone calls to our house that we refuse and then Brian calls him back. I've even gotten used to his fashion and cooking advice. I don't agree with Larry on most views of the world but maybe he is just an old hippie wondering if he should hang on to the old or latch on to the new. Maybe we can help lead him to a wonderful new.

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