Day 3946.  My name is Kubla Kat, and I am being held prisoner by a mongrel beast who torments
me with bizarre tangling objects.  He eats bountiful meals in front of me, while I must subsist on
tasteless pellets.  When hunger drives to me to try stealing a few morsels of his food, punishment
is swift and severe; he picks me up and puts me on the floor.  My only pleasure is in occasionally
destroying a piece of his furniture, but whenever he catches me doing it he tortures me by
putting me on his lap and petting and stroking me.  I know he enjoys my torture, because
whenever I am on his lap he is smiling maniacally.  How he has managed to imprison me for
so long, I do not know, since the dull-witted beast does not even know how to use a litter box.
Instead he uncouthly uses a porcelain monster.  I think I must be going insane.  If you find this
note, please....